Raising Daughters

As my girls are growing I am finding that raising them can be hard.  It just isn't as clear cut as you were thinking when they were in the womb.

There is esteem, even though you give your daughter every affirmation that she is great, even if you do everything right, there is this thing, their God given personality.  And there is Satan.  And to us they are both very real, and can get in the way of that perfect plan you have.

My middle girl is my little girl.  She is such a sweetheart and full of cuddles and love.  She is also my spirited child who has a fire about her.  But beneath that, at JUST 6 years old, she has expressed some self confidence issues.

This is REALLY hard as a mom to deal with.  Because all I see is beauty, love, light, fire, strength, and a fun loving girl.  But she felt something else.  She didn't love what she saw in the mirror.  i know she had expressed it before, but I would shift the conversation a new direction after a quick  affirmation.

I feel that wasnt' enough as she expressed how she hated her looks.

I am a FIRM believer of it is the heart that matters, and not letting little girls change themselves.  that being said, I learned a lesson.  Sometimes a little love on the outside does wonders on the inside.

It is just like us moms, who need pampering and we feel like a million bucks, there is nothing wrong with letting your daughter give herself a little love as long as you enforce the beauty God blessed her with on the inside, and that the two together are what make up beauty.

Alyssa hated her hair, I had always cut her bangs, and I will admit they weren't even or cut correctly.  so we had a Lissa day. We went to a professional, not a kiddie place, but a big girl place, and had the stylist cut her hair.  All she did was redo her bangs, cut a few long layers, and blow her hair straight and gave her own bottle of little shine stuff.

Then we went to the mall and my girl helped me pick out some stuff for her sisters and she got a new outfit.  Even better, we just had a girls afternoon.  I am mom 99.9% of the time, and I believe this is how it should be.  However, just for a brief moment in time, I feel just being their friend can reap its rewards in gold!

Let me tell you, girls are girls are girls.  know how a new shirt, hair do, makeup, nail polish, shoes, anything, makes you feel on fire?  Well a little lovin like that gave her such confidence that even her teacher said this week she has seen a confidence and ability to express her own feelings like she hasn't witnessed before!

So here is what I am saying.  Remind your girl that she is a child of God.  That He created her in His image and that means she is beautiful.  That those voices in her head that put her down are NOT of him.  That you and everyone think she is beautiful.  Tell her why, pick one physical feature...say her eyes.  Then follow up that compliment with two inner beauty compliments.  Say, I love how you always think of the shyest person in your class, that is SO beautiful of you to do, and I also love how you always give mommy the snuggliest biggest hugs.  It always makes me smile.

Once you have done these things, if she is in need of a little boost, ask her what she would like.  And wit in reason try with all your might to make that small thing happen in the next week or so.  Make it more about the time you are spending with her and less about what you are doing.  This way she gets the boost from what she wants/needs, but she sees the time as the important part. Ii promise you it will lift both your spirits up.  It is never too late to start spending a little more time with your girl!!  She will be a woman before you know it!

Any questions?  Really, about raising girls?  Please ask me, mine are still young, but man am I learning fast what it means to raise three daughters of God.

Love affirmation seriec ~ Affirmation Door

Love Affirmation Mini Series

So as we chatted about the other day, you don't need a major holiday to show your family you love them.  I know I know you are thinking you're the CEO of your house, you are mom.  That is showing them love daily.

True.  Very very true.  However, I believe very strongly in the book "The Five Love Languages".  If you haven't read it, you can get it here on amazon, for your kindle or this is the hard copy version.  I HIGHLY suggest reading it, if you or your spouse doesn't feel totally "fulfilled".  It is how we each give and receive love differently and sometimes, we give how WE would like to be loved, not necessarily how THEY like to be loved.  There are also love languages of children, and this is what this project is for...

My kiddos are very different, while they have some similarities my middle girl especially loves to be told what is lovable about her.  It is another "words of affirmation".

So in the spirit of carrying on this series, I am going to show you what I did for Valentines day for them.  My Affirmation Door

 I plan on doing it every year, however I also plan on carrying it out in future years, all of February, I mean it IS the shortest month of the year!!  And my girls woke with a bound each morning!

The best part, you don't need any fancy tools, though they are fun.  I did use my Silhouette Cameo for this, but you can just as simply cut your own hearts out.

I would suggest taking one night and cutting out ALL your hearts, so you aren't like me scrambling each night to make em .  It really will save you some time!  But I took a heart for each girl and every night I would write things I love about them on it.  I would title their mane and what day number they were on.

They LOVED hunting for their new heart each morning.  

My oldest asked that I don't throw them away, so at the end of the month, I plan on taking them and putting a hole punch in the top and taking just a small ring, the cheap kind you get at Hobby Lobby in the jewelry making section...and putting it through so they have a little book to look at through the year with everything I love about her/them.


Go ahead, try it for just two weeks, and see how it fills your child's love tank up!!

Let me know what you find :)

Love affirmation series ~ Love jar

Love Affirmation Mini Series

I am going to kick off a two series of posts that were originally geared toward my family for Valentines day.  But I am a VERY firm believer that you need to show you love ESPECIALLY on the non holidays.  The just because occasions.  You don't need Valentines day to show your love...

I mean think about it.   How often do you wish you got something small.  Just because.  No reason.  Other than you are awesome.  Or your loved one is awesome for giving it to you.

This first one is for the hubby.  You could adapt for anyone...my buddy is adapting for his wife..really you could even do your kiddos, but I say hubby because a lot of men out there, whether we like to admit it or not aren't necessarily a gifting person.

They like to be affirmed.  They like to hear how awesome they are and what they mean to you.  They work hard for the family and it is in their make-up to want to provide the best for their families.  But for some reasons it is so hard to tell them this on a consistent basis.  Whether it is because we expect what we expect from them, life, marriage, or because it isn't "our love language" it's still a very important aspect of a fulfilled marriage.

This little gift is actually pretty darn simple and very inexpensive.  Find a bag of Hershey kisses...a cute jar, some sticker paper, and a 3/4 " punch and you are done!  Cost me a total of about $6.

Its my "Things I love about you" jar.

He even took it to work.  My hubby is NOT a gifts guy, but he loved this one, because it was useful, he can eat it!, and it wasn't costly, and most of all it hit his pride button  :)

So I have included the sheet I used to punch out for you to download if you want.  Otherwise you can make your own....just make a 3/4" circle and put whatever you want in it.

Print it out on a single sheet of sticker paper.

Use your punch and cut it out and stick to bottom of the kiss.

Present to your love as a gift of honest expression.

If you decide to do this, please please let me know what you did and how it turned out!! 

The Rest of the Days of Cristmas...

So we left off with the fourth day of Christmas.  I bet you are waiting with baited breath wondering what happened to us....ok so even if you aren't I'm going to tell you, because this was seriously the coolest experience of my life!!

Sorry it took till now.  Traveling with a family of five across country for Christmas, and then all over the state and then getting back into the swing of life once home, including but not limited to the flu can prove to throw even the most organized mom off (which i surely am not).

And hey this blog was about life as a mom right?  And keeping it real?  Right?  So you should be smitten with me because I sure do keep it real! 

Anyhow, the FIFTH and SIXTH days of Christmas were cute.  The girls just loved trying to guess the next item since sometimes it just contained one word of the traditional song.

Day 5 was FIVE Crispy Creams...

Which was wonderful for this mom, another day of not having to find breakfast for the kiddos!!

Day 6 made me question what time of year it was  :).....I wondered if it was Easter....six geese a laying became 6 Christmas eggs...........

Ok here's to promising you...yes you Heather, that I will be back tomorrow with another days surprises and I even have a few other topics planned for later this week and early next week!!

This too shall pass

Or will it?

These days I am really starting to wonder.  After a LONG and not particularly good, OK, down right bad, vacation.  I figured home and school starting the very next day was a fresh start.  THINK again, not so much!  There is this.....

Check back, it'll be empty by tonight 

And then there was this morning, dropped the girls off and went to go along my merry way....but alas it wasn't to be.....

 Thankfully there were some wonderful people around to help me out....now lets see if it starts in a half hour!!!

We know God will always provide a way out for us.  And when we truly need it, we can have a break in Him. "Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened and I will give you rest." (Matthew 11:28).  Well I am about to have a conversation with him.  Because I really don't know how much more I  can handle.
With out going into detail, I guess I just wanted to share with you, that I know we are to lean on Him in times of need.  But I wanted you to know you are not alone if you do so and feel like He isn't there or isn't listening.  It is these times that our "faith" is exactly that.  I am in a time where my faith is being tested, I still am looking to Him, but I'd be lying if I said I knew I would make it, or I knew why, or I see the positive of what all is going on.  Because at the moment I don't.  Maybe in a future post I will be able to share that enlightenment.

But for now, I just wanted you to know you may not be alone.  That it is OK to question, or wonder the paths your life is taking.

As long as you try to stay focused and on His path even if that path seems like a less traveled dirt road.

Sometimes the harder the terrain, the more beautiful the scenery at the end....

Just a peek at crazy...

So trying to find a rythm between life, potty training, work, groups, friends, family, everything in general has proven to be a harder task for me than I first imagined.

I have this dream, so sit down and write every day.  For me first and foremosst.  It is a way for me to get away from my daily drama and escape into a virtual world I really enjoy.  I love you my readers, and I love the seclusion writing takes.

And that is kinda where my problem is; the seclusion.  I dont get much of that these days with the hubby traveling and busy busy schedules.

But I vow for the millionth time to you that I am going to post 3 times a week.  I plan on the next two days to do Barbie Birthday partie amongst other things. 

Hopefully you still stick with me.  I so appreciate you!  Thanks for reading!

Recipe Review! Best Lasagna makeover

And totally healthy at that!

For ANY of you who really know me, you know I am a total pain in the butt when it comes to cuisine.  May even make you wonder how my family can survive healthy!

Well I am aware of my taste buds and I am trying to change that.  Since moving to Utah we have been so much healthier and I am learning how to prepare foods some foods super healthy.

For example this that I am about to share with you, with out my additions is only about 250 in calories and is SUPER healthy!!  With my changes, it only adds about 100=150 calories!!  And it is fulfilling.

The best part, my WHOLE family, from daddy who eats it all, to the K-bean who is still regulating herself, to the all mighty picky Lissy{no clue where she gets that from!?}, love it!!  Everyone had seconds!


I originally found the post on Pinterest.  The original is here, and she has very pretty pictures and step by step instructions if you want to check them out!  I am forever indebted to her for a recipe that provides health and taste!!!


The main ingredient, instead of noodles, is spaghetti squash!
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So here goes:

Spaghetti Squash Lasagna

3 cups spaghetti squash (2 medium ones)*
2 cups marinara sauce
1 cup skim ricotta
2/3 cup browned hamburger
8 tsp Parmesan cheese
1 tsp pizza spice (or Italian seasoning)
1 clove minced garlic
3/4 cup finely shredded part skim mozzarella

Preheat your oven to 375

Take an 8x8 pan and spread a little less than half the sauce on the bottom.
Then add 3/4 of your squash.
Add half the hamburger.
Layer with all the ricotta.
Add half the mozzarella cheese and Parmesan cheese.
Add remaining 1/4 of squash.
Add remaining hamburger.
Add other half sauce, other half mozzarella, and Parmesan cheese.

Cover tightly with tinfoil and stick in oven for 15-20 minutes.

A serving is ONE FOURTH of the dish!!  I was so excited about this because it really is a fulfilling portion!!  I started with about 3/4 a serving and that was enough for me.
Calories: 291 with out hamburger
Calories 428 with the hamburger

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If you don't know how to cook spaghetti squash it is pretty darn easy, puncture it a lot maybe even a cut or two to let the air out, and microwave 8-12 minutes.  Let sit for 5 minutes after, then open, cut out the seeds and scrape out with a fork.  That's it!

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Now this is the "good stuff"...


Some of the health benefits of squash are amazing too!!  As a matter of a fact I just shared it with my 82 yr old father who deals with many of these.


One cup of cooked spaghetti squash:  40 calories, 2 grams dietary fiber, 10 grams carbohydrates,only  4 grams sugar, 1 gram protein, very low-fat content and no cholesterol. In addition..

This is the amazing part!  spaghetti squash contains

 ~omega-3 essential fatty acids and omega-6 fatty acids. While the former is good for preventing heart disease, cancer and inflammation caused by arthritis, the latter promotes brain function.

~ It contains various vitamins and minerals, which are required for proper functioning of the body.

~Recent studies suggest that this squash is good for prostate health and it can also be used for treating benign prostate enlargement.

~It is very rich in beta carotene, which can prevent atherosclerosis and is also beneficial for people with insulin resistance.

~While potassium helps to lower blood pressure, foliate is good for preventing damage to blood vessel walls. Foliate is also beneficial for pregnant women as it can prevent some types of birth defects in the baby.

~Spaghetti squash is a good source of vitamin A and vitamin C that are antioxidants, which can prevent cell damage. The B vitamins in spaghetti promote proper cellular function.


Please please, pretty please let me know if you intend on making this, and if you do, come back and let me know how it turned out!!!  

Don't leave a broken spirit...

In the wake of a broken treasure...

A bit of advice...

Your children are only so little for so long.  Make sure to not put material things before them.
This is easily said "I don't" when it is matters of purchasing things, or a job, etc etc.  However this lesson becomes a bit harder when said child breaks something of emotional and/or physical value of yours!

My mom told me, when I had my first daughter this lesson.  She said, "Don't make the same mistake I did, putting something of material value before you"

I learned what she meant by that statement today.  And I am proud to say, I reacted as she suggested, and I feel very good inside about it.

It all started with these cute figurines from Willowtree that my mother in law gave the girls when I had the K-bean.  They are sisters who hold hands, but them come apart.  They sit on their dresser, and they "touch/light play" with them from time to time, though I tell them they shouldn't.  Well with each baby I have had my mother in law has given me these precious statues.  So for me, they not only hold their material value, they are so sentimental special, they are from someone I love and they signify the birth of my children.

I have them sitting next to my TV in the fireplace room.  Alia came in while I was on the phone, looking a little impatient, or was it nervous.  Anyhow when I hung up I asked her what was up.  She beat around the bush for a good 5 minutes.  This was my first clue to something being wrong. "You know those pretty figures you have...", "Well I just love them so much and they look so neat...", and on she went.

Finally she told me that she had broken one of them.  And she started bawling.

My instant internal reaction?  To scream at her, to drag her in there and yell all the "I told you this is whys" at her.

Instead I calmly went into the room and examined the damage.  Getting a tiny big angrier when I realized it was several small pieces not just one.  I calmly picked them up, took the glue and went in my room.  I sat there thinking about the tears running down my sweet girls face.

Did she mean to do it?  No  Does any child ever mean to do it?  I doubt it.

I worked on  the figures and eventually they came back together.  Not perfect, but good.

I took this time to sit both girls down, but especially Alia next to me, to ask them why they think I make the rules I do.  She got it right, to not break anything and to keep them safe.  I told her I loved her, I was disappointed in how she knew better but acted anyhow.  She repeated how sorry she was.  She was afraid I wouldn't forgive her.

I explained to my sobbing daughter that of course I would forgive her, and reminded her of Jesus forgiveness.  How he died to forgive our sins.  So how could I not forgive her, when she was a gift from the very Man who taught all us forgiveness in the first place.

As a matter of a fact, I am in some ways glad that arm is  broken on that figurine.  It was to represent my children.  With out that imperfection right now, would mean maybe no children to create it in the first place.  They are my life, and that crack reminds me of the small life I am helping to develop.  The small live that God has entrusted not only her physical well being with, but her emotional, and most importantly spiritual well being with!  I look at it and know I have wonderful children to love instead of what I would feel is an empty life with out them.

Thank you God for not only lessons for my daughter but lessons for me.

Have you ever learned anything like this?  Especially as a parent?  Hope this can help you today!  :)

DIY Quick and pretty Carnations ~ From Kleenex!!

I first stumbled upon these amazing flowers over at The Mother Huddle on this post.  She has some really amazing ideas!

A few weeks back Lissy wanted to give these to our neighbor for mothers day, and they couldn't have been more simple to make!!  And They were stunning!!

I have done the tissue paper ones before, so the basics are the same, however they turn out SO much more realistic and pretty!!!

I figured I would share with you since they were easy enough for a 5 and 7 year old to accomplish.

Kleenex Carnation's

Supplies:
Tissue
Sharpie markers
Dollar store flowers (for the stems)
Duct or gardener's tape
Bobby pins


Getting Started:

First you want to take about three (double ply) tissue and lay on top of one another.  Then start to accordion fold them...














 Once you are done hold together in the middle...
















Take your bobby pin and slide it in the middle to hold it all together...

 

Next you want to tear off the ends of either side.  the more you tear the smaller the flower.  A medium flower is about perfect...

Now is time to take your sharpie and color the ends on both sides...

Make sure to color the tip/ends as well, like such.

All that is left is to open your flowers up, one layer at a time.  Pull up toward your body, and as you add layers they create a carnation "effect"..

And here are your finished flowers...all that is left to do is pop the flower off your dollar store flowers, and tape your carnations on by the bobby pin sticking out

. 

The end result?  A beautiful flower to put in a vase or to give as gifts!  Its that simple!!

















So what do you think?  Hey if you try it out let me know how it turned out!  Thanks for reading.  Please come back soon as it is finally officially summer and I will be posting more!! What a concept!1  ;)

Summer Bucket List ~ DIY (Glitter) Slime!

What kid, girl or boy, young or old, doesn't love slime?! My girls needed a project to "sell" for school and this one was a HIT! You can totally customaize it how your kiddos want it. You can make it opaque and solid colors, or clear, girly and glittery...my personal favorite. Either way SLIME is a easy way to pass time with the kiddos. It takes no more than 5 mnutes to make and probably cost around 5 cents to make! Go ahead try it! I originally found the recipe here, from where else but the almighty Pinterest...






SLIME (glitter)

1 teaspoon borax powder (best found at wal-mart in the laundry isle, its a box)

1 1/2 C water, divided

4 oz (1/2 C)  Elmer’s glue, clear or white

food coloring

fine glitter

1. In a small bowl add borax powder to 1 cup of water and stir to dissolve.  Set aside.  

2.  Pour glue into a mixing bowl and add 1/2 C water. Add a few drops of food coloring until desired color is reached and then stir to mix glue solution until smooth.  If you want glitter, I would get the real fine kind and add it now.

3.  Pour the borax mixture into the glue mixture and watch the solids start to form.  Make sure to let sit 3-5 minutes.

4.  Stir for a few moments and then use your hands to gather the mass.  The mixture will be very soft and wet. Kind of lumpy but not a firm lump yet.  

 

 Keep kneading until it firms up and feels dry.  There will be QUITE a bit of water left in the bowl.  Empty it, keep kneading and empty again.  

5.  Store in a ziplock bag or air tight container and the slime will keep indefinitely.  If it feels too hard, just wet your hands and touch it again.  A few drops does the trick.

Hello, Hello, Hello....it's meeeeeee...showing you a Marshmallow Shooter! DIY

AGAIN!  Yep I am giving it a go again.  I swear someday my crazy princess filled life will allow me to do the 5 posts a week that are my goal!  But for now, thank you for being a faithful reader!

And my motivation.  Brooke, a friend, needed the how to on how to make these!  So here ya go Brooke!!

I wanted to give you a neat "craft" if you will, today.  It isn't all that girly either! 

Alia needed to make something for Market Day at school.  And she wanted to not only attract the girls for customers, but the boys as well.  She settled on a marshmallow shooter.  And then tested it out.  It was awesome, super easy and super inexpensive!!  A great hit at school as well.

To make your own I will post what I did here.  I got the original idea from the all mighty Pinterest.  It is actually a blog I really enjoy following.  Come Together Kids.  Her post is here.

Soooo to make your own, here is what you need to do:

Marshmallow Shooter

You will need:

Marshmallows
Cups 
Balloons
Pom Poms if you want

Yep that's it!!!






First you want to take the cup and cut the bottom off.  I would suggest using a little bit heavier duty cup.  Don't make it the huge Solo cups because their brim is too wide, but the smaller ones seemed to work perfect for me.  If your cup is too flimsy it will buckle under the pressure of the balloon.

Once it is cut, take your balloon and cut the tip off.  I figured it is about 1/4 of an inch. 

That's it.

now you take your balloon and tie the end just like you would if you were tying a balloon. 

Once that part is tied you stretch the cut part over your cup, just like these...

Now you're ready to go shoot.  The marshmallows (tiny are best) go the farther.  Pompom's are safest in the house however. 

To get the furthest distance out of your shooter you put the marshmallow right in the center of where the balloon is tied.  That really give it a chance to "pop".

Try shooting them straight up in the air, shoot them as far as you can and make it a game by drawing a line and trying to pass it.

 See how far the kids are?  That was where this marshmallow, and a few others landed!

There ya go.  A quick and simple way to keep the kids buys and convince them to go outside!!

Let me know if you ever try it out!

How do you convince your kids to go out when they don't want to?

Miscarriage ~ What you dont hear about...helpful advice for coping...

Hopefully.

I wrote a majority of this last week.....
The blue italics are what I wrote last week.  I also put a line below if you wanted to skip right to the advice and how I coped....

I'm not sure if I'm ready to write this...Nope don't believe I am...........................so I'll start and maybe I'll finish another day.

Loss.  Something everyone one of us has had to deal with one time or another. 

I had intended on writing this great post on marriage, and I will write it someday, but I feel like a cruel and unusual punishment is mine for the taking at the moment.

Most of you know, but  for those of you that don't, I suffered my first miscarriage last Monday.  So I now have an angel in heaven.

Logically I know there is nothing I did wrong, and nothing I could have done.  However trying to tell your heart that when it is breaking in a million pieces is a totally other story.

If I can impress one thing upon you it is, no matter what YOU think of someone else, when they are going through something, whether you think it is dumb or just blown out of proportion, please take their thoughts into consideration.  What they are feeling is REAL no matter how silly it may seem to you.

I have had three beautiful daughters, hence the name of the blog.  but that doesn't make the loss of my fourth baby any easier.  Even if he/she was only 6 weeks along.  God had already had them in his mind.  Many years ago at that.  The beginning of time in fact!  My baby was just that, a baby, his/her heart was going to start beating this week, the spine was forming, as were many other things. 

This was "Quatro" as my hubby lovingly called him/her.  We were excited to add another member to our amazing group of little ones.  We may get stressed from time to time, but we sure do adore being parents.

This weekend we needed a break away.  We were forgetting that we were more than just parents, so we went away, sans kids.  It was amazing and we had a great time, however, as we were heading home, I started to spot.  Nervous but not thinking the worst we went on our way.  Finished our day out. 

Unfortunately the night brought pain and more convincing evidence.  And by morning it was clear.  All day Monday I was in a daze, a daze loosing my fourth peanut.  A much anticipated peanut. 

The worst part of it all. the person I called my doctor, the one I put my health, trust, faith and emotions into, was nothing of the sort.  Not once did I get a sorry for your loss.  I actually even got accused for a moments time of lying about being pregnant, and i got jerked around for the better part of 36 hours.  That was the worst 36 hours of torture I could ever go through.  I can't even begin to describe to you the things this nurse told me, that were un-called for and inappropriate in this time I was going through.

But I CAN tell you something else I learned.  I learned that God truly does have our backs at all times.  Because as many of your know, from time to time I miss home, and I feel lonely and wonder if I left the only good thing I could find back there.  I left such a great network, that I just wondered so early in my new journey here if I would ever find the same thing.

I found it, but I found it triple fold.  My friends out here are AMAZING.  And THAT is an understatement!  I have had people bring me flowers, dinner, lunch, and offer to watch the kids.  I have had calls and texts, and countless well wishes and hugs.  I can't even begin to tell you what these people have meant to me.  To my body, to my baby, to my healing, to my faith.  You all are amazing and I will never be able to repay you for what you have given me.  I just hope that if you read this and you know who you are, that you have affected my life forever and I will never for get it and will always be grateful!!!

It is now a week and a half later, I am through the worst and ready to head back for the best.  I am ready to pick up and start again. That being said, I found there are some things that just aren't talked about, and I wanted to share, in the hopes that my loss can help someone else grieve.

One thing I found, that as early as I miscarried, we are left with the idea that maybe we shouldn't be as sad as we feel.  You will hear it is a chromosome thing, it is a genetic thing, the baby would have had many problems.  While all this is well and true, and I am thankful that he/she won't have to go through a painful life, it doesn't make the fact that you are loosing him/her any easier.  So we feel that we aren't supposed to be sad, for a day much less more than a week or more.  We feel like because there wasn't even a dr appointment we should just push the feelings away and focus on the positive.

While the positive is good, you need to focus on your pain.  If even for a moment.  I was told by a friend here, that even though my girls are here and yes I need to be here for them, don't let it take away from the fact that I do need time, to myself, to grieve my loss. 

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So I am here to tell you, whether far along, or not at all, please let yourself grieve how you need to.  You are NOT alone in this!  

I cried.  I still cry once in a while.  You don't hear of how the emotions will hit you.  You think you have had your good cry and then out of the blue you start bawling.  It is NORMAL.  Not only are you suffering a loss you are suffering crazy hormones.

Your body will go through amazing changes too, I had a hard time finding out if it was normal to all of a sudden bloat like I was 5 months pregnant.  But I did.  And it is normal, It will go away in about a week to a week and a half.  As will the physical pain.  One thing that has held on a bit longer but is tapering away is fatigue.  Your poor body has gone through so many changes.  You will find that each day it feels like you hit a brick wall.  You are SO tired.  Don't let others tell you that you are depressed (unless it is several weeks after and you can't get out of bed at all) because again your hormones and body have been totally shook up.  The tired is normal.  If you can, rest!  Let the kids watch TV if you have others, let them color, play and make a mess with out you.  You are NO less a mom!!  

Lastly I wanted to show you what I did, that really helped me.  For me I feel I need something tangible.  Something to hold and look at.  That is hard to do when your loss is so early.  But it can be done.  

Some people told me they have a memorial service.

I made a memorial tin.

I took a dollar store tin (or Altoids) and took some cute scrap booking paper.  I traced the tin on the paper and cut it out, then sprayed the paper with Elmer's spray glue.  I then put paper on top and bottom and found some ribbon to wrap around the side to make the color right.

I added a few stickers and a heart inside.  I also added a name, as hubby and I always make "fun" names for the baby while it is in my belly.  If you didn't.  You still can. It might help to have a name for him/her.

 

Then I added the test I had saved, and I had some pictures of the actual digital one.  I also had my first belly picture (yes I was super excited to start documenting growth) and a picture of hubby and I before I lost him/her.  I just put those in there, and am writing a letter to my baby and adding that. 

Now I have something that sits by my bed, and I can touch, look at, and hold it as often as I want.  and When I am ready it can go in a drawer by my nightstand.

 

Please if you want someone to talk to, have any questions, or just want a shoulder to cry with you.  PLEASE leave a message here, and I can email with you!   

I really hope someday somehow I can help someone through this pain.  I wish it on no one and no one should have to go through it alone!