In the wake of a broken treasure...
A bit of advice...
Your children are only so little for so long. Make sure to not put material things before them.
This is easily said "I don't" when it is matters of purchasing things, or a job, etc etc. However this lesson becomes a bit harder when said child breaks something of emotional and/or physical value of yours!
My mom told me, when I had my first daughter this lesson. She said, "Don't make the same mistake I did, putting something of material value before you"
I learned what she meant by that statement today. And I am proud to say, I reacted as she suggested, and I feel very good inside about it.
It all started with these cute figurines from Willowtree that my mother in law gave the girls when I had the K-bean. They are sisters who hold hands, but them come apart. They sit on their dresser, and they "touch/light play" with them from time to time, though I tell them they shouldn't. Well with each baby I have had my mother in law has given me these precious statues. So for me, they not only hold their material value, they are so sentimental special, they are from someone I love and they signify the birth of my children.
I have them sitting next to my TV in the fireplace room. Alia came in while I was on the phone, looking a little impatient, or was it nervous. Anyhow when I hung up I asked her what was up. She beat around the bush for a good 5 minutes. This was my first clue to something being wrong. "You know those pretty figures you have...", "Well I just love them so much and they look so neat...", and on she went.
Finally she told me that she had broken one of them. And she started bawling.
My instant internal reaction? To scream at her, to drag her in there and yell all the "I told you this is whys" at her.
Instead I calmly went into the room and examined the damage. Getting a tiny big angrier when I realized it was several small pieces not just one. I calmly picked them up, took the glue and went in my room. I sat there thinking about the tears running down my sweet girls face.
Did she mean to do it? No Does any child ever mean to do it? I doubt it.
I worked on the figures and eventually they came back together. Not perfect, but good.
I took this time to sit both girls down, but especially Alia next to me, to ask them why they think I make the rules I do. She got it right, to not break anything and to keep them safe. I told her I loved her, I was disappointed in how she knew better but acted anyhow. She repeated how sorry she was. She was afraid I wouldn't forgive her.
I explained to my sobbing daughter that of course I would forgive her, and reminded her of Jesus forgiveness. How he died to forgive our sins. So how could I not forgive her, when she was a gift from the very Man who taught all us forgiveness in the first place.
As a matter of a fact, I am in some ways glad that arm is broken on that figurine. It was to represent my children. With out that imperfection right now, would mean maybe no children to create it in the first place. They are my life, and that crack reminds me of the small life I am helping to develop. The small live that God has entrusted not only her physical well being with, but her emotional, and most importantly spiritual well being with! I look at it and know I have wonderful children to love instead of what I would feel is an empty life with out them.
Thank you God for not only lessons for my daughter but lessons for me.
Have you ever learned anything like this? Especially as a parent? Hope this can help you today! :)
Thursday, June 21, 2012
4 comments:
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Oh Colleen, I love this. At first I thought the story was going to go along the lines of buying material things, but I love the lesson here. He had a little snow globe from Chicago his dad had brought home from a trip and dropped it while playing with it on the tile floor. Shattered glass everywhere. At first I took the route of "this is why I told you!" Then he just started sobbing and I felt horrible. He was pretty tore up, and I made it worse! So then we turned the conversation to "everyone makes mistakes so we can learn from them...what was your lesson?"
ReplyDeleteI love what your mother said, it's a great one to remember.
Your mom is wonderful to mold you as a great mom now. I love how you have big patience for your kids and the wisdom to tell them they're wrongs.
ReplyDeleteI don't always have that patience but thank you!!!
ReplyDeleteThis blog post is inspiring! Your story made me think that it's just about the figurines, but as I went deeper, I realized I was wrong. Your mom is such a great person. Anyway, those figurines can be a great sample of a metaphor. Good thing it was fixed!
ReplyDelete