On this side of the ring Mommy ~ a woman who wants to give her little girls everything they ever ask for, but knows that isn't possible while still desiring to raise well rounded girls.
And on the other side of the ring, Alyssa, aka Lissy Cakes ~ a Strong Willed, Stubborn, Opinionated little girl who knows what she wants and isn't afraid to show her every emotion to get it.
And on the other side of the ring, Alyssa, aka Lissy Cakes ~ a Strong Willed, Stubborn, Opinionated little girl who knows what she wants and isn't afraid to show her every emotion to get it.
The match? A picture. A picture of Alia, Alyssa, and Alia's best friend Claire. This picture is the object of Alyssa's affection. And it isn't even her friend! See Alyssa wants Claire all for herself, she isn't dealing too well with the fact that Alia has a best friend and she doesn't.
One day when Claire was here I got a picture of all three of them and she begged me to print it out for her.
The object of the match
This is dramatic stuff, you would think that I took every doggy toy she has away. I mean, according to her, this picture is ruined, it "isn't pretty anymore" and just "isn't good", she MUST have a new one!
Before this turned into a match of the wills, I had said no I wasn't going to print another one and that this one was just fine as you could still see the faces, and really everything else of the picture. She was upset, but it hadn't become of epic proportions yet.
Enter into current time: NOW it is the end of the world and I am not sure what to do? I mean I like to stand my ground when I say something so they know that no amount of whining will get them what they want. However in this case it is such a simple thing, all I have to do is hit 'print' and it will make another one. Problem solved. Yet I have spent the last half hour trying to tell her this one is fine and pretty, so can I really give in now?
The match is on. At the moment Mommy isn't looking too good. She is weak and ready to be done. Thinking there will always be another match to battle out and win right?
Who will win? Who should win?
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Mmm.. How about a compromise? You will print out a new one BUT it must stay in a frame and pick a spot on the wall where it will stay. She can take it down and look at it from time to time but the picture stays in the frame and mostly on the wall?? She thinks she wins but so do you!
ReplyDeleteI agree that you both need to win. In the big picture, this is a pretty small battle. Is there some way you could cut out the faces and reuse them? Maybe paste them onto a picture that Lissy can draw?
ReplyDeleteshe might like to draw, but she will also still want a new one. Maybe a frame is the way to go. On another note, she is very tired and a nap, if she ever gets to sleep might help greatly!
ReplyDeleteAhhh, welcome to my world! I too have a very strong willed little girl who knows what she wants. I've found that giving in is NOT a good option, because the next time, the battle will be all the harder. But, sometimes you have to compromise, right? In a situation like this I would still stand my ground and use it as a lesson. We make choices, like chewing on our pictures and we need to live with those choices and learn to have a 'happy heart' and to accept it. But later, when this lesson seems to have finally sunk in I would print a picture, frame it or laminate it and let her have it under the understanding that this is hers and if she chooses to chew it, she can, but there will be no more pictures. End of discusion.
ReplyDeleteColleen there is an awesome book that is by a Christian author, Kendra Smiley, called Aaron's Way. It is about raising a strong-willed child. I love this book because her opinion of strong-willed children matches mine, that they are strong and sweet and there is nothing wrong with their personalities and with proper guidance and love they can do anything! I found this book invaluable in helping me understand and guide Ruby and help her not to be frustrated and exasperated when she can't always have what she wants or do what she wants. And it helped me to find ways to love her in a way that helps her grow yet doesn't comprise raising her to be a child who loves the Lord and knows right from wrong and is sensitive to others.
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